Can We Talk About This?

Episode 31: Responsive Parenting: There’s No Such Thing As a Perfect Parent

There’s no such thing as a perfect parent, right?! Yet there is a myriad of conflicting parenting advice that puts pressure on parents to be perfect, particularly mothers, and it is hard to know if we are getting it right. Becoming a mother has a funny way of getting us to reflect on how we were parented and at times gives us a way of reparenting ourselves in the process of parenting our children. Rebecca Cefai, a psychologist who has a special interest in perinatal mental health and parenting talks to me about responsive parenting, a parenting style that looks beyond the behaviour and focuses on addressing the emotional and physiological needs of your child. In this episode we talk about responding to your emotional and physical needs as a parent, unlearning the way you were parented, sociocultural messages and how they impact the way we parent and perceive behaviour, parenting differently according to your child’s temperament and individuality, parenting with boundaries, finding your parenting values and managing our own emotions while parenting. It's a biggie!

 

You can find Rebecca here: https://www.growinggentlypsychology.com.au/ 

Or on Instagram @growinggentlypsychology

Episode 30: They Say It Takes a Village To Raise a Child, But Mothers Need a Village Too!

An honest conversation about the realities of mothering within a culture that does not centre mothers. Emma Gray chats to me about her experience entering motherhood, everything she ever wanted and the first time around really was a dream, to then add another child and the transition be much more difficult. Emma talks candidly about her experience with a colicky baby, resentment in relationships, matrescence, mothering alone most of the time and juggling work, kids, life and a charity. We also chat about Emma’s commitment to maternal mental health and the evolution of her new found charity The Nurtured Village Hampers that is forging in communities across Australia in an effort to bring back the village of support for new or struggling parents. 

 

You can find out more about getting involved in the charity or nominating a family to receive a hamper here: https://www.thenurturedvillage.org/

 

Listen to Emma’s podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-nurtured-village-podcast/id1522355752

 

Find Emma on Instagram: @emmagray @thenurturedvillagehampers

 

If you’d like to kindly donate to The Nurtured Village click here: https://www.thenurturedvillage.org/donate  all donations over $2 are tax deductible

 

Music is called "Flowers" by Limujii and can be found on YouTube, SoundCloud and Spotify.

Episode 29: “The Day My Vagina Broke” with Stephanie Thompson

Stephanie Thompson, author of The Day My Vagina Broke – What They Don’t Tell You About Childbirth, had already endured cancer prior to becoming a mum and so entering motherhood, she had very big hopes for her future family, however her birth was not what she expected and changed her life forever. Stephanie suffered a traumatic birth injury that rocked her to the core and she openly talks about her injuries and the impact these injuries have on her life. She also shares her experience having a vaginal birth after Pelvic Organ Prolapse and her healing journey and what the future holds for her.

 

Find Stephanie @bravemumma on Instagram and facebook

 

Website: www.bravemumma.com

 

Buy her book ‘The Day My Vagina Broke – What They Don’t Tell You About Childbirth’: https://www.bravemumma.com/

 

Buy her Ebook ‘Tips and Tricks for Living with Pelvic Organ Prolapse’: https://www.bravemumma.com/

 

The Low Down Podcast with Steph Thompson: https://bravemumma.podbean.com/

 

My invisible disability short film: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBgzhcdBKmI

 

If you or someone you know needs support for physical and/or psychological birth trauma please go to: www.birthtrauma.org.au

Episode 28: Nikki’s Story: Premature Twin Birth, NICU, Baby Loss, Grief and Healing

*Trigger warning for this episode* 

Nikki so beautifully and with so much vulnerability shares her experience of her premature twin birth and the loss of both of her baby girls, Nayara & Nabela. Her birth was quite traumatic and Nikki shares the confusion, the shock, the grief, the pain, the cost, and the emotions around premature birth, infant death, NICU stay, and the separation from her babies. Nikki also mentions the cultural expectations when losing a loved one and how difficult that was for her situation. Nikki shares how grief and loss have impacted her life and the transformation she has experienced.

You can find Nikki on instagram @lunahealing_

If you have experienced infant loss and need support, please reach out to SANDS Australia: https://www.sands.org.au 

 

Music is called "Flowers" by Limujii and can be found on YouTube, SoundCloud and Spotify.

Episode 27: Chante’s Story: The Brutality of Ptyalism and Hyperemesis Gravidarum

Ptyalism (Ty-a-lis-im) and Hyperemesis Gravidarum are brutal conditions in pregnancy that we don’t often hear about or understand. Chante Campbell-Morrison shares her experience with these relentless conditions, her mistreatment, what life looked like, what happens to your mind and your body, her diagnosis with PTSD and anxiety, bonding with her baby and the long term impact on her life. Chante also talks about her non-linear healing journey and her mission to raise awareness and supporting mums struggling with Ptyalism and HG.

 

You can find Chante on socials @wild.feathered.flower

 

If you or someone you know is struggling with HG or Ptyalism, please know you can contact www.hyperemesisaustralia.org.au for support.

 

Music is called "Flowers" by Limujii and can be found on YouTube, SoundCloud and Spotify.

Episode 26: The Genius of Birth Mapping; The Revolution We Needed!

Birth plans tend to be controversial, insufficient and not respected, for the most part. So should we have one? What goes in it? Does your birth just all come down to luck? Well, let me introduce you to Catherine Bell who is an absolute go getter and completely hilarious! And she shares the revolution of birth mapping – not a birth plan but a map and it’s genius! The concepts are different and birth mapping helps you, the birther, understand the different pathways to birth including models of care, interventions and what’s attached to them, the importance of language and communication to and from careproviders, and navigating the system to support the birth you want. Keeping in mind, “there is no one way, there is only your way!” Who better to start this revolution than a mama cartographer! Catherine also shares details about her PhD of the birth map. This episode is a MUST listen if you are prepping for birth, we cover SO much in this episode! I highly recommend The Birth Map! It is the revolution we needed!

 

Get your birth map here - https://birthmap.life/

You can find Catherine @birthmapping on social media

 

Music is called "Flowers" by Limujii and can be found on YouTube, SoundCloud and Spotify.

Episode 25: Early Pregnancy Loss & a Healing Birth

Does gestation matter when it comes to loss? Who gets to decide this? Early pregnancy loss is full of mixed emotions, often not spoken about and an experience most women don’t feel validated in because of how we, as society, think about early miscarriage. Sarah chats to me about the excitement of her first pregnancy and her devastating experience losing her baby “sprinkle” a few weeks later. Sarah gets really honest and vulnerable in sharing her story and shares some details not everyone talks about - the physical and emotional, and speaks so passionately about how we treat women and families who have experienced this. Sarah also shares her experience in her second pregnancy and the anxiety that came with it, desperate to carry her baby to full term. Sarah got her healing birth with the support of a doula and shares this beautiful experience as well.   

 

Music is called "Flowers" by Limujii and can be found on YouTube, SoundCloud and Spotify.

Episode 24: Awakening to The Patriarchy and Reclaiming Feminine Power with Jane Hardwicke Collings

Have you ever felt like being a woman was a burden? Periods, pregnancy, birth, pelvic health, motherhood, menopause and so on, it’s not always pleasant. But maybe because the culture we live in doesn’t value the feminine, and so we internalise the messages our culture tells us, that being a woman is a burden, physically, mentally, socially, financially, in all aspects of life. Jane Hardwicke Collings, the wise woman herself, chats about the consequences of patriarchal culture, HERstory, rights of passage, birth, menstrual shame, menopause and how it is all connected to the way we feel about ourselves and how we can heal. Jane shares her wisdom on reclaiming our feminine power in a culture that diminishes it through reconnection with our sisterhood and within ourselves.

 

Jane’s website: https://janehardwickecollings.com/

 

HERstory ebook: https://janehardwickecollings.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/herstory_ebook.pdf

 

The School of Shamanic Womancraft – www.schoolofshamanicwomancraft.com  

 

Instagram: @janehardwickecollings

 

Music is called "Flowers" by Limujii and can be found on YouTube, SoundCloud and Spotify.

Episode 23: Feminism, Birth and the Implications of Eliminating Sex Based Language

Milli Hill is an absolute powerhouse in the birth world and her books are a testament to that. We chat about encouraging women to think about their births and creating a birth plan, power imbalances, obstetric violence, #metoo in birth and bodily autonomy. We chat further about feminism and the messages we as women receive about our bodies and the shame around women’s bodies and how it starts right from menstruation. Milli opens up about her experience being “cancelled” after questioning arising blanket terms like “birthing people” in maternity care and the importance of keeping sex based language in women’s health. Milli advocates for the importance to continue recognising sex based oppression, sex based language and the current healthcare gaps in maternity + women’s healthcare.

 

Milli Hill is the author of The Positive Birth Book, Give Birth Like a Feminist and My Period.

 

Website: https://www.millihill.co.uk/

Instagram + Twitter: @millihill

“I will not be silenced” https://www.millihill.co.uk/2021/07/10/i-will-not-be-silenced/

Oxford Feminist speech: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-kvR51ELLo

 

Music is called "Flowers" by Limujii and can be found on YouTube, SoundCloud and Spotify.

Episode 22: The Sacred 4th Trimester and How We Can Better Prepare and Embrace Postpartum

You prepare for birth, you prepare your baby essentials, you have your baby and then you are sent on your way – for most people – and now what? We even saw during the covid pandemic that postpartum care was deemed “non essential”, which continued the narrative that postpartum, particularly the 4^th trimester, wasn’t important and mothers were doing it on their own. In this episode, Leila Armour, a postpartum doula, shares her postpartum wisdom chatting all things tips, resting, depletion, setting intentions, normalising rest and reframing the way we think about postpartum. Leila talks about preparing for postpartum and the sacredness of the 4^th trimester and the importance of understanding matrescence. Hiring a postpartum doula can be the difference in how you cope and heal after birth and should be normalised in postpartum care – even in a pandemic! Postpartum care is essential for every mother. We, as a society need to do better.

 

You can find out more about Leila and her book by following @villageformama on Instagram or visiting www.villageformama.com.

 

Music is called "Flowers" by Limujii and can be found on YouTube, SoundCloud and Spotify.